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Four old retired guys are walking down a street in London . They turn a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10p.
They look at each other and then go in, thinking, this is too g...Four old retired guys are walking down a street in London . They turn a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10p.
They look at each other and then go in, thinking, this is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"
There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.
In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That'll be 10p each, please."
The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40p, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 40p, please." They pay the 40p, but their curiosity gets the better of them.
They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a £1 yet.
Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a 10p a piece?"
"I'm a retired tailor," the bartender says, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for £25 million and decided to open this place.
Every drink costs 10p. wine, liquor, beer its all the same."
"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender, "What's with them?"
The bartender says, "They're retired people from Aberdeen . They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.
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The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The instructor said,
"Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial.
It strengthens the pelvic muscles a...The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The instructor said,
"Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial.
It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.
Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass."
"Gentlemen, remember - you're in this together.
It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.
In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both."
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments a man at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.
"Yes?" said the Instructor.
"Would it be OK if she carries the golf bag while we walk?"
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It's mid august and feels like autumn - where had the sun and heat gone?
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A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.
"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "It's smells absolutely incredible!"
Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought,
"What the heck.....A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant.
"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "It's smells absolutely incredible!"
Being a 'kind-hearted Scotsman', he thought,
"What the heck..., I'll give her a treat!"
So, they walked past it again...
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william johnstone is now friends with
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Airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening flight from Glasgow, the lead flight attendant for the cabin crew nervously made the following painful announcement..:
"Ladies and gentlem...Airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening flight from Glasgow, the lead flight attendant for the cabin crew nervously made the following painful announcement..:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mixup one minute prior to takeoff, by our airport catering service... I don't know how this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately, only 40 dinner meals... I truly apologise for this mistake and inconvenience." When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued.. ,
" Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight. "
Her next announcement came 90 minutes later...
"If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."
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today I joined Tartanfootprint
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