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Tartan Footprint helps you connect and share with Scottish people in your life.
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Scottish Jokes
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

T...
Scottish Jokes
A Scottish farmer points out the pub window to his farm across the road, and asks his friend, “Fa two hundred pounds, would ye hae sex wi' a coo?” They argue for a while about the nature of ethics, th...
Scottish Jokes
An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a far-off foreign land, and the leader of the captors said, 'We're going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot...
Scottish Jokes
Donuld, an' Morag hud been merried fur 20 years, an nae sign o' any family comin', Wan day it a' happened, an' they wur blessed wi' a son. Morag, says tae Donuld, Y'ull huv tae walk awa, tae the Oban ...
Scottish Jokes
Big Shuggy and Wee Chic ur staggerin hame efter a night oan the tiles. They've nae money left tae get a taxi an aw the buses are finished. Wee Chic looks up fae the gutter an says 'Hey, look Shug - it...
Scottish Jokes
I originally heard a variation of this as a blonde joke but I like this one too!

A Scottish shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Range Rover advanced out of a du...
Scottish Jokes
In a small town in the Borders there is a large factory that will only recruit married men. One of the local women, one Brenda Davy, a feisty young lady, was angry about this and demanded to speak to ...
Scottish Jokes
Winters can be extremely cold in northern Scotland, so the owner of the estate felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his farm worker, Archie.

Noticing, however, that Archie wasn't w...
Scottish Jokes
Three scots and three englishmen are traveling by train to a football match. At the station, the three englishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three scots buy only a single ticket.
"How are three ...
John McMillan
good joke I love it
Scottish Jokes
A woman goes to the Doctor in Glasgow, worried about her husband's temper and threatening manner.



The Doc asks: "What's the problem, Janet?
The woman says: "Weeell Doctor Cameron, I dinae know what to d...
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